At work or home, you use your laptop’s USB ports for different accessories. Usually, we use them for a mouse or an external hard drive, a laptop cooler or a USB lamp. But on the market, for every one of these very practical gadgets there are some stupendously tacky and whimsical devices that also use the USB ports. These last ones are numerous, so we’ll only present you ten of them, ten that caught our attention.

USB Fishquarium

Where to start? Well, this is a, let’s say, USB desktop aquarium like organiser chock-full of pens and supplies. That’s sums it up. Oh, the fish is not included.

USB Heated Blanket

This is one gadget that’s very useful if you are working in a freezer. But because it’s only 2.5 x 1.5 feet, you have to choose what to warm first, your hands or your feet.

USB Typewriter Keyboard

Here it is an excellent piece of nostalgia for $700. We’re joking, not about the price, but about nostalgia. The only use for this is only if you want to ask your grandmother to write something on your computer and you don’t want her to get too confused. But with that price tag, we’ll stick to our regular keyboards.

Humping Dog USB Key

If you don’t mind a sex’ed-up plastic Beagle humping your laptop and emitting a large amount of noise in the same time, well, then this is the next generation concept for customised USB sticks. We admit, at first we’ve found it funny, but it tends to get too distracting after a while.

Crave Duet USB-powered Vibrator

Ok, this is very unconventional, but … it’s useful, in certain situations. Especially because it comes with a … 8GB or 16GB storage capacity and a rechargeable battery. So, double the use, double the pleasure, you can share your files with your friends and … well, you know …

USB Self-Misting Hairbrush

The USB Self-Misting Hairbrush claims to de-tangle your locks, water them and charge over the USB. We can’t find any use for this gadget, but certainly some of you may find one. We’re not sure if it will be used as intended, but … still … it’s an interesting gadget, maybe. Oh, and the battery can stream for up to two and a half hours. And, did we mention that it charges over the USB?

USB Air-Conditioned Tie

On a hot summer day, the necktie isn’t too comfortable, as most of us already know. Well, the Japanese gadget manufacturer Thanko, renowned for their useless, awkward and cracked-out USB gadgets, developed the USB Air-Conditioning Tie. This is in fact a tie with a plastic knot, which is housing a small fan that blows air into the chin. Imagine the sensation of relief or the pleasure of something blowing under your chin.

Ameoba Dual Purpose Digital Microscope

Every single person in our team wanted a microscope in their youth. We had an in-house poll. And the Ameoba Dual Purpose Digital Microscope, almost, delivers just that. For $90, you can zoom to only 200x, so the amateurish scientists in us can’t spot anything close to an amoeba. Remember that a decent microscope has at least 400x zoom.

The most remarkable aspect of this USB microscope is that paired with a 1.3 MP digital camera, you can share the pictures taken to a PC. But if we can’t spot the mitochondria, what do we share?

Dual-Heated Travel Mug

Ok, the concept is nice, but the developers missed some important aspects. The idea of keeping you coffee or tea hot over the whole work day is nice, but the USB heated travel mug, which also works via car charger, keeps all 16 ounces of your favourite juices at a certain “optimal” temperature and it’s spill proof. But we have to remember not to put this mug in the dishwasher.

USB Plasma Ball

We are really not sure that the plasma balls were too popular, ever. But this gadget, with the “Now powered by USB” label, tries to bring some nostalgia to the 1990 addicts with a hipster-size dose of irony. How cool is this?!?!